I’m happy to say April was a month of small, but continuous improvements on the health front. I like to think this is partially due to the fact I’ve been more open to the powers of healing on an energetic and spiritual level.
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Last week I wrote about how my experience with chronic illness has made me reevaluate how I define my worth. Instead of measuring my worth by the traditional notion of productivity, I’ve created my own version of success.
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Sure, everyone has an off day once in a while, but when a chronic illness forces you to spend months or years unable to go about normal activities, your perspective begins to change. Similar to a “herx reaction,” a period during which symptoms from Lyme disease get worse before they get better, my evaluation of my worth took a hit before it got better.
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As January fades into the distance, I’ve found myself taking comfort in the shades of gray and quiet evenings that are inevitable friends of the wintertime season. While many of us go into hiding during these bleakest of months, burrowing deep into warm pockets of comfort and companionship, over the past few weeks, I’ve managed to find a small ember of clarity in my life.
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I want to be totally better, to have a clear definition between sick and better. But chronic illnesses like late-stage Lyme don’t work like that. It’s like having a cold that lingers and you think that everyday might be the last day and tomorrow will be better, but it isn’t.
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